Monday Quarterback

If you can't play, coach. If you can't coach, write. Sounds about right. Here are some thoughts regarding what is happening in the world of sports right now.

Baseball

The Mecca of the sports world tonight is St. Louis, and I find myself facing east, praying that Game 5 of the World Series receives more national interest than an insignificant Monday Night Football game. Please tell me, America, that you would rather watch compelling World Series baseball than witness the Seattle Seahawks drub the not-so-good St. Louis Rams, who have been demoted to "sucks" status now that their offense relies upon backup quarterback Kellen Clemens and not Sam Bradford. How bad is Kellen Clemens? The Rams reportedly reached out to Brett Favre earlier this week to see if he could be coaxed into coming out of retirement. How bad are the Rams? Brett Favre said no.

So if you call anywhere outside of Seattle home, don't you dare tell me that you're watching football tonight. Tied up at two games a piece, this has been a compelling, albeit weird Series thus far, especially when taking into account how the last two games have ended. An obstruction call and a pickoff are not exactly conventional endings. I thought Jim Joyce's call in Game 3 was the right one. Boston's 3B Will Middlebrooks clearly lifted both legs in front of Allen Craig, causing him to trip on his way to home plate. Craig scores easily without Middlebrooks' happy feet. Not to be outdone by the blunder, Cardinals' backup 2B and last night's pinch-runner Kolten Wong was picked off first base with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. The mistake could have been understood if it were a one run game and perhaps even forgettable if it had been a mere mortal at the plate. Unfortunately for Wong, the circumstances were anything but that. First of all, the score was 4-2. The hitter, not Wong, represented the tying run. The strategic benefits of a lead at first were zilch. For all intents and purposes, Wong should have simply stood on the base. But no, after having been explicitly warned by head coach Mike Matheny that Boston's closer Koji Uehara has a terrific pickoff move, Wong was caught underestimating his opponent by being liberal with his lead. Perhaps the pickoff moves aren't as good in the minors. But that's not the worst of it. The batter at the plate was Carlos Beltran, who has done everything again this playoffs to show that he is one of the greatest postseason hitters ever, short of wearing red and blue and revealing that he can fly. It's an unforgivable sin to take the bat out of the hands of such a player with your team trailing in the ninth. I feel terribly for Wong, especially as he held back tears while courageously fielding questions by reporters in the locker room after the conclusion of the game. It is not a sign of weakness to make clear that you have a heart. Perhaps most of us have forgotten the feeling in sports of letting down your teammates. If you care about anyone but yourself, it is something that is cry-worthy. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. Such is the dichotomy in those moments. One player's tears of joy is another's tears of sadness.

While I don't have a vested interest in either the Cardinals or the BoSox, I am a fan of compelling baseball. This World Series is shaping up to be one of the more compelling baseball has seen in a long while. Historically speaking, these are two of the winningest franchises in baseball's history. St. Louis is second, with eleven World Series victories in nineteen appearances, and Boston is fourth, winning nine out of thirteen. These are also two of the most decorated teams in the majors when considering the present era. Both the Red Sox and the Cardinals are two of only three teams to win multiple Series in the last decade. And yet somehow it's so new. Gone are the iconic coaches Tony LaRussa and Terry Francona. Gone are team leaders Manny Ramirez, Jason Varitek, and Albert Pujols. This is refreshing, compelling baseball to watch. Boston's raucous fan base is the pride of baseball on the east coast, and the passion for Cardinals baseball in St. Louis is the gold standard in the Midwest. Tonight's matchup is a rematch of Game 1 aces Adam Wainwright and Jon Lester. I expect Wainwright to rebound and for the Cardinals to head back to Boston up three games to two. I hope the Series goes seven games with a dramatic finish. This World Series deserves that kind of ending, and it would be great for baseball.

NFL Football

My passion is positive
-Dez Bryant

In anticipation of the Cowboys' matchup against the Detroit Lions, Dez Bryant was heard on Dallas sports talk radio last week saying that anything Calvin Johnson could do, he could do also. 329 yards and two tantrums later, it's clear that Bryant was engaging in some laughable hyperbole. Perhaps being taken in the first round by America's Team has given him somewhat of a big head. Don't get me wrong, at twenty four years old, Bryant is a fine receiver - arguably one of the best in the league. But don't make the mistake of comparing yourself to a person who was genetically engineered in the womb to be a wide receiver. At 6-5, 236 pounds, great speed, and hands like fly paper, it doesn't seem very fair for Calvin Johnson to be matching up against other humans. He should be playing against Kodiak bears or something.

Bears got nothin' on Megatron

Johnson's performance yesterday will go down as one of the greats in a single game in the history of the NFL. As one that has looked over thousands of box scores, there is rarely a statistic that causes me to gawk. I gawked at 329. That number is second only to a guy named Flipper by seven yards, and that game went into overtime. It's kind of difficult to be shown up when you have seventy-two yards receiving and two touchdowns, but Bryant's fine game was a mere afterthought to Johnson's, who Dez can apparently emulate.

No, we won't remember Bryant's performance. What we will remember are his child-like tirades caught on camera on the sidelines. In the third quarter, before a third down play was snapped, cameras caught Bryant motioning to his quarterback Tony Romo, as if to say throw it to me. Romo didn't, and the result was an incompletion. By the time Romo had sat down on the sideline to talk with Cowboy coaches, Bryant was having his own little tantrum concerning what we have to speculate is his disappointment in not being thrown to. Later, Romo would hit another Cowboy receiver, Terrance Williams, on a 60-yard touchdown play. You'd think Bryant would be happy that his team had scored and was up ten points on their opponent. But he was seen after the play on the sideline disgruntled again. Despite Dez catching his second touchdown later in the fourth, the Cowboys would go on to give up two more touchdowns to Detroit. After Matthew Stafford snuck in the second touchdown, Bryant was caught yet again blowing up on the sideline, with only a mere twenty seconds left in the game and all hope apparently lost. This time, other Cowboys were seen returning his yells with some of their own pointed back at him, namely the quietly respected and revered tight end Jason Witten. Witten seemed upset with Bryant, gesturing to the game clock, as if to say there are still twenty seconds left, and this team needs you to be cool!

Bryant's temper tantrums did seem passionate if anything, but what were they passionate about? Were they impassioned exhortations for the Dallas Cowboys not to lose a crucial game, or were they the bratty cries of a primadonna receiver to get more balls thrown his way, because the player on the other team, the one who he claimed to be as good as, was stealing his thunder? And if the talent level was not a stark enough contrast between Johnson and Bryant, then the demeanor certainly was. For as otherworldly good as Calvin Johnson is, he remains one of the most upstanding and humble guys on the field. His rhetoric is his game, and it speaks loud and clear.

Dez Bryant needs to shut up. During his spout with Tony Romo, Romo could be seen saying something back. I like to imagine that in his puzzled state, he said something like Dez, you know that we're one and eight in games that you catch multiple touchdown passes? So with all do respect, no, I will not throw it to you every time you want me to. I'm gonna' find the guy who's open. Dez needs to worry about getting open...and in the meantime shut his mouth, 'cuz his "passion" aint positive.

NCAA Football

With another brilliant performance on Saturday, Johny Manziel has reasserted himself as a Heisman front-runner for 2013. On Saturday, Johnny Football threw for 305 yards and four touchdowns in two and a half quarters, before departing the game due to the chasm of points he had created in his team's favor.

Rob, I want to party with youuu!

But once again, Manziel is in the headlines for something non-football related. During a promotional video "Ask the Aggies", shown on A&M's jumbotron during the game, Manziel responded to the question of who would you most want to be at a party with by answering Charlie Sheen, Rob Gronkowksi, and Tiger Woods. Mm, that's a lovely pantheon of debauchery, Johnny. The trinity of sleeze. Never has an answer revealed so much about what qualities the lover of limelight Johnny Manziel reveres. Sheen, Gronkowski, and Woods. Lunacy, idiocy, and nymphomania (partayyy!). Or, if we can sum it up more succinctly, (in)famous guys who score chicks. You're halfway there, Johnny! And you've managed to reinforce every male collegiate stereotype. Now with Manziel's dubious off the field behavior, he either has a really funny self-deprecating sense of humor, or he is brash in his candor. I'm willing to bet he's not that funny.

If only he weren't so damn good at football...